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Lao Zi once said, “Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” People-pleasing, or seeking self-worth through others’ approval, is unproductive and an exhausting way to go through life. Why do we allow what others think of us to have so much power over how we feel about ourselves? If it’s true that you can’t please all people all of the time, wouldn’t it make sense to stop trying? Unfortunately, sense often isn’t driving our behavior. For social beings who desire love and belonging, wanting to be liked, and caring about the effect we have on others, is healthy and allows us to make connections. However, where we get into trouble is when our self-worth is dependent upon whether we win someone’s approval or not. This need to be liked can be traced back to when we were children and were completely dependent on others to take care of us: Small children are not just learning how to walk and communicate, they are also trying to learn how the world works. We learn about who we are and what is expected of us based on interactions with others, so, to a four-year-old, if Mommy or Daddy doesn’t like him or her, there is the danger that they will abandon them. We need to understand that when we desperately want someone to approve of us, it’s being driven by that little kid part of us that is still terrified of abandonment. As you become more capable of providing yourself with the approval you seek, your need for external validation will start to vanish, leaving you stronger, more confident, and yes, happier in your life. Imagine how much time we lose each moment we restrain our authentic selves in an effort to be liked. If we base our worth on the opinions of others, we cheat ourselves of the power to shape our experiences and embrace life not only for others but also for ourselves, because ultimately, there is no difference. So embrace the cliché (老话) and love yourself as it’s highly doubtful that you’ll regret it.【缺少答案,请补充】
Some people have said aging is more a slide into forgetfulness than a journey towards wisdom. However, a growing body of research suggests that late-in-life learning is possible. In reality, education does an aging brain good. Throughout life, people’s brains constantly renovate themselves. In the late 1960s, British brain scientist Geoffrey Raisman spied growth in damaged brain regions of rats through an electron microscope; their brains were forging new connections. This meant brains may change every time a person learns something new. Of course, that doesn’t mean the brain isn’t affected by the effects of time. Just as height usually declines over the years, so does brain volume: Humans lose about 4 percent every decade starting in their 40s. But that reduction doesn’t necessarily make people think slower; as long as we are alive and functioning, we can alter our brains with new information and experiences. In fact, scientists now suspect accumulating novel experiences, facts, and skills can keep people’s minds more flexible. New pathways can strengthen our ever-changing mental structure, even as the brain shrinks. Conventional fixes like word puzzles and brain-training apps can contribute to mental durability. Even something as simple as taking a different route to the grocery store or going somewhere new on vacation can keep the brain healthy. A desire for new life challenges can further boost brainpower. Research about aging adults who take on new enterprises shows improved function and memory as well as a reduced risk of mental disease. Openness—a characteristic defined by curiosity and a desire for knowledge—may also help folks pass brain tests. Some folks are born with this take-in-the-world attitude, but those who aren’t as genetically gifted aren’t necessarily out of luck. While genes can encourage an interest in doing new things, a 2012 study in the journal Psychology and Aging found completing reasoning tasks like puzzles and number games can enhance that desire for novel experiences, which can, in turn, refresh the brain. That’s why brain scientist Richard Kennedy says “It’s not that old dogs can’t learn new tricks. It’s that maybe old dogs don’t realize why they should.”【缺少答案,请补充】
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