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Five Ways to Build Stronger Relationships We all have relationships. We have acquaintances, relatives, colleagues, neighbors and probably some friends. However, for a large percentage of us, many of these relationships are simply not fulfilling. I’d like to show you, based on my experience as a communication-and-confidence coach, how you can add a significant amount of depth, and thus strength, to your relationships and make your social life a whole lot more meaningful. Meet more people. This is an apparent paradox, but the quality of the people you meet has considerably to do with the quantity of people you meet. If you don’t know a lot of people and you barely meet one or two new people every season of the year, considering the variety of individuals out there, you won’t very often meet people who are a good match for you in terms of personality, interests and values. And since this natural match plays a huge part in building strong relationships, you’ll just as seldom have the opportunity to develop strong relationships. Conversely, if you go out a lot, you meet a lot of new people and you constantly expand your social circle, you’re much more likely to meet people you match up well with, and these people have tremendous potential to become good friends, reliable partners, etc. Talk about the things that matter to you. A relationship becomes stronger when two people discover they believe in the same things and have similar interests. It’s these commonalities regarding values and interests that create strong emotional connections. I’ve noticed that many people keep conversations shallow. They talk about trivial stuff such as the weather, what’s on TV, the lives of various movie stars, but they rarely talk about what really matters to them in life. This is a mistake from my perspective, because it’s the perfect method for a relationship not to develop. Talk about the things that truly matter to you and give others a chance to know what you care about and what you believe in. Express vulnerability. Many people try to come off as perfect. They don’t talk about their failure, the hide their shortcomings and they never say anything that could embarrass them. This is all just a facade though. You’re only human and humans have flaws. However, by hiding your flaws, what you do succeed in is appearing cold and impersonal. You seem like a marble statue rather than a real person. And this makes it very hard for anyone to connect with you emotionally. Humans connect with other humans, not with ideals. Keep this in mind and don’t be afraid to show your vulnerability and your humanity. This is what takes a relationship to the next level. Have integrity. Integrity, as I see it, is the alignment (校准) among your thoughts, your words and your actions. When you say what you think and you do what you say, you’ll do, you have
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